The Fears We Have
by TheOneWithWheelsASH
Summary: For anyone who knew Mycroft Holmes they wouldn't think he was scared of anything. But the people who really knew Mycroft they knew that there was definitely one. This is a Mycroft story but the definitely is some Sherlolly in here. Originally posted on Archive Of Our Own


For anyone who knew Mycroft Holmes they wouldn't think he was scared of anything. But the people who really knew Mycroft they knew that there was definitely one thing that he was scared of and that was Clowns.

His fear of them began on just a normal. He was eight years olds and his grandparents had decided to as a treat for good work at school they would take him to the circus. He enjoyed every single minute of the show. That was until he got left behind, his grandparents in years to come would say that he got lost. But Mycroft knew better cause not only was Mycroft on this but his grandparents had also decided to bring along his younger brother Sherlock and to say that he was a bit of a handful would be a massive understatement.

So when the show was over his grandparent who were very busy with Sherlock who fully expected Mycroft to be following along behind left him alone, by the time he noticed they were gone it was to crowed with people to see where they had gone. he sat and waited quietly knowing this is what his parents had told him to do if he ever got lost. However, as time grew longer and less and less people were in the big tent he anxiety got bigger and bigger. It was then that the clowns noticed that a child had been left behind. Up closer they looked creepier than they had before there make up and different coloured hair was frightening. Why was there make up happy but under enough not he couldn't work it out.

They sat with him until his Grandparent finally came back for him it took the almost two hours to notice that he was missing and a further half an hour till they got back to him. His grandparents saw nothing overly wrong from what they saw from their point of view they saw clowns make balloon animals trying to cheer up a child. Mycroft knew this was the reason that he like his Uncle Rudy over them he wouldn't off left him behind.

As time went on his fear for clowns only grew he stopped going to other children's birthday parties out of fear that one would be there that was when he started to notice the difference between him and other kids they were such goldfish. He also kept having recurring nightmares of them they like there were coming to get him he'd wake up just as they got him always waking up sweaty and screaming.

Things got worse when Sherlock found out about his fear it became his younger brother life mission to upset and annoy his older brother. So every Halloween Sherlock decide to dress up as a clown when their mother worked out what Sherlock was doing she put a stop to it but is still didn't stop him any chance he got Sherlock would let his brother know that he knew about his fear. One time at brooding school Sherlock sent him a really old marionette puppet of a creepy clown this caused him to nightmares for over a month. God he hated his brother sometimes.

As Mycroft got older the nightmare became less and less and he was able to hide his fear. Nobody need to know about it and thank god they weren't need at important government so life became easier for him but only for a while that was until Moriarty came on the scene that was when the nightmares started again and they were worse than ever. They always started the same.

 _It was in a room he'd been kidnapped and tied up and been but in a room surrounded by clown's loads some had the plastic flowers spraying him and the themselves other were making balloon animals. Another couple were trying to paint his face and put a curly red wig on him. It was driving him mad it just wanted it to stop. But just then the mood in the room changed a new clown had entered and this one was definitely not going to make him a balloon animal. It was then that Mycroft saw Moriarty in full clown gear coming towards him_

 _"_ _where coming to get you Mycroft I know your secret" Moriarty voice taunted "you mine now and if you don't want anyone else finding out your little secret you're going to do everything I tell you to do from now on you understand."_

All Mycroft could do was nod.

 _"_ _good" Moriarty said coming closer towards Mycroft he pulled a red nose out of his pocket he forced it on to Mycroft's while another clown pulled up a mirror to show him what he looked like "you're one of us now" voice once again taunted._

It was then that Mycroft woke up sweaty and scared off his dream he was scared more than anything of Moriarty finding out of his secret cause unlike everything else in his life he knew this was something that he had no control over.

He was happier than he should have been with Moriarty's death but now he glad that his secret hadn't gotten out. As the years went by he almost forgot about his fear until his little brother brought against be when wanting to know secrets about the life he long since forgotten.

Then everything that happened at Sherrinford changed a lot of things for everyone who was effected it took Sherlock a little bit of time to work it all out but he realised that he did indeed have feelings for Molly. As time went by she learned to trust him again and soon they were in a relationship. For the first time in a long time Mycroft didn't have to worry about his younger brother if there was anyone else in the world he would trust to love and look after his brother it was Molly Hooper.

So it didn't surprise him when he came to him asking for there Grandma ring. He had it on him for the few months knowing that this conversation was going to come up at some point. It was nice a week later when he got a text from his brother saying

 _She said yes –SH_

"good for you brother mine" he spoke to himself. He would deny it if anyone brought it up with him but he had a smile on his face for the rest of that day

As Sherlock wedding planning came along he knew that if he was going to suffer being in front of his family he was going to make his brother suffer to. It was then that he planned to have many clowns at his wedding and who could tell him no it was his wedding day after all.

When Molly found out what she was doing the first thing she did was laugh. But when she realised that he being really serious it didn't impress her.

"Sherlock you can't be serious this is our wedding not a day at the fun fair I'm not having 500 clowns at our wedding"

"But Molly it will totally be worth to see the look on Mycroft and he won't be allowed to have a go at me because it will be our wedding and Mummy would not be happy with him if he started a show in front of all our family"

"Sherlock I get it you want to get under Mycroft skin having a fear is normal but I want my wedding to look like my wedding day not a tribute act for a cirque du soleil or a reject circus"

"so is that a no to the elephant then?" he asked

She very strict look she gave him was enough to answer his question.

"okay I take that as a no"

"look I might be able to turn a blind eye if one clown turned up but any more than would not be okay just make sure there not a murder I don't want a repeat of John and Mary wedding".

He turned to her and kissed her on the forehead "I knew there was a reason I love you Miss Hooper"

"Soon to be Mrs Holmes" she responded with before leaning up to kiss him.

A few days later whilst looking after Rosie Sherlock started auditioning clowns to turn up to his wedding it wasn't until Mycroft turned up that he realised how upset Rosie was becoming.

"Brother mine don't you see how upset Rosie is by all these clowns?" Mycroft asked with concern for the child.

"Are you sure it not you who's scaring her brother mine"

Mycroft walked over to Rosie to prove his point he moved her nearer to a clown. As she got close to it she broke down in tears and hugged into Mycroft just so she didn't have to look at it.

"You sure it still me brother mine" Mycroft Holmes said glad that he had proven his brother wrong.

After that Sherlock ordered all the clowns out of Beaker Street thank to Rosie not likening clowns none appeared at the wedding. Molly was silently pleased. Sherlock did not want to upset his goddaughter plus john would be a slightly bit pissed off with him. And Mycroft was happy to well happy as anyone going to a wedding could be.

After that day Mycroft and Rosie relationship grew a bit stronger he'd always had her back making sure there were no clowns about.


End file.
